by John Kunkle

When I saw my friends later on, they would say to us, “what a beautiful wedding.” By American standards, it was pretty good.

My wife would remain silent when they made such comments. I would remain silent. From my wife’s Russian viewpoint, our wedding was a miserable failure.

My recommendation is to take your fiancé to an American wedding before you get married. I don’t care if you know the people well at the wedding or not. Crash a wedding if you have to.

My wife knew none of the customs here. She didn’t know where to shop. She had no friends to help her. I planned the wedding. I lined up the church, the reception hall, the priest, the music, the cake — everything.

I asked my friends to cook roasts and turkeys and asked other guests to bring food like a potluck. They all came through for me big time. They set up the reception hall.

I had to help my wife order her wedding dress – so much for not seeing the bride before the wedding. We covered ten stores and one hundred miles to get her wedding shoes.

When we finally found a pair that she liked and that fit her, I was a little heavy handed about insisting on buying them. She wanted to keep looking for more shoes.

I was the bridegroom, the wedding planner, mother of the bride, all rolled into one.
I did the best job I could. My wife grudgingly acknowledges today that I did a pretty good job. However, she still holds it against me because it was not a proper Russian wedding.

Expectations have everything to do with happiness. If you expect one thing and get another, no matter how nice it is, you aren’t happy. My wife was expecting a proper Russian wedding and got a hybrid American wedding instead.

Many couples have two weddings – one in the West and one in the East. My wife and I had planned to do something similar, but by the time she made it back to Belarus, she was four months pregnant and didn’t fit into her wedding dress anymore.

Her family had a nice celebration for us to welcome us to the family instead. We also had the baby baptized in Belarus with a celebration to follow.

John has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman home, and how to survive married life.
www.russian-luv.com/whywritten1.html

Provided By: Relationships

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by Helen Rankin

With the average wedding now costing £17,000, many couples are now looking for ways to have a ‘celebrity’ stylish wedding, without the celebrity price tag. The first tip is simple – ask for a discount. The worst that can happen is that they say ‘No’. You might be a bit embarrassed, but what have you lost? We’ve pulled together 5 other top tips to help you create your dream wedding on a shoestring
budget.

1. Choosing The Wedding Venue

Your venue is probably going to be the single biggest wedding expense that you’ll have to pay, with many of the more popular venues charging £2000 upwards. But you don’t need to spend this sort of money to have a fabulous venue.

Wedding Venue Cost Saving Tip:

Many village halls, golf and rugby clubs have suitable rooms available for a fraction of the price. The trick is to see past the existing décor and imagine it sprinkled with hundreds of fairy lights or candles – think of Ross’s wedding on the hit show Friends that Rachel ruined!

If you’ve found the wedding venue of your dreams, but it looks as if it will be out of your budget, don’t despair. Many venues offer significant discounts for mid-week or ‘out of season’ weddings which can run into thousands of pounds.

2. Food At The Wedding

Deciding what kind of menu you want to offer for your wedding can be difficult enough without having to see the price tag that goes along with it!

Food Budget Cost Saving Tip:

There are lots of ways to cut back on your food budget, and still have a memorable day. Selecting a venue where you can bring in your own caterers is often a much better value than using the existing venue catering. You can even go as far as preparing all the food yourself, though be careful of taking too much.

If you don’t have a choice about which caterer you use, there are still ways that you can trim your spending costs. Try replacing the starter course with canapés, instead of having both. Or, replace dessert with your wedding cake – so often wedding cake gets forgotten about because guests have already had so much to eat.

A new idea that brides are buzzing about is the wedding ‘cheese’ cake. Literally, it is three slabs of cheese turned into a wedding cake for that special ‘cutting of the cake’ photograph and ceremony. Why not combine the two instead of having a separate cheese and cake course? Or serve this with crackers, chutney and pate for your evening guests?

3. Drinks At The Wedding

To have a free bar, or cash bar? Such a difficult question to answer. Of course, it would be fantastic to offer a free bar to all your guests, all day, but with limited funds, it’s not a realistic option for most people.

Booze Budget Cost Saving Tip:

The ideal in this instance is to use a venue where you can bring your own booze. I was lucky enough to be able to do this at our wedding and managed to pop across to France and buy 180 bottles of wine and 240 beers, plus Pimms and cassis for under £500. We had stacks left and our guests were restricted to beer, wine or soft drinks, but no one seemed to mind.

Another option is to come to an arrangement with the hotel regarding corkage. A friend got married in a hotel, which charged £10 per bottle of wine. She arranged a flat fee of £500 for all of her beer and wine opening. Although it seems like a lot, it meant that she could afford to supply beer and wine for her guests.

4. Bridalwear

With most bridal dresses starting around £600 and running into thousands of pounds, this is a huge expense.

Bridalwear Cost Saving Tip:

You can still look fabulous for a fraction of the price and feel that you’re minimising the eco-footprint of your wedding by buying a ‘pre-loved’ wedding dress.

Many charity shops have specialist ‘bridalwear’ departments where you can purchase new and designer dresses that have been worn once. You can try the dresses on before buying and you’ll get a warm glow from doing something for ‘Charidee’.

If you’re a little braver, you can venture online, where there are some fantastic bargains to be had in the ‘pre-loved’ lines. Take a look at some of the ‘For Sale’ forums of the popular wedding websites and you’ll see bridal dresses, veils, tiaras and those Jimmy Choo shoes that you know you want for a fraction of the cost.

5. The Wedding Photography

Many couples feel that photography is a major part of the day and are prepared to pay upwards of £2000 for a beautifully presented wedding album. Photographers have confirmed that it isn’t the actual photography, which is the major part of this expense, but printing and preparation of the formal wedding albums.

Wedding Photography Cost Savings Tip:

Many photographers are prepared to attend your wedding day and then provide you with a DVD of your photos for around £600. With the DVD, you can then use some of the fantastic online services to prepare your own ‘Photo Book’ - costing much less. Or, as many guests will no doubt have digital cameras with them, combine place cards with little notes asking them to share their wedding photos on your online directory.

Another excellent tip for having a photo keepsake of your wedding is to use several Instant Photo Guest Books, which combine Polaroid Instant Photos and hand-written sentiments from your guests. These photo guest books are ready to enjoy the “instant” your wedding is over — and creating them adds great fun to the wedding reception!

Helen Rankin, Founder of Instant Forever — http://www.instantforever.com/ and distributor of Adesso Albums in the UK and Europe, helps you capture your wedding memories forever. The Adesso Album is the only guest book alternative that captures your wedding event in an Instant in both pictures and words, and preserves it Forever. Capture your wedding in an instant with a Wedding Photo Guest Book
Provided By: Family

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by John Kunkle

There are other differences in wedding customs. In Russia, the bride and groom stay attached to each other the entire time they are at the reception. They literally hold hands the entire time.

My wife got extremely upset with me each time I would get up and leave her alone for a moment at our wedding. One time, I was trying to help some elderly relatives of mine get some food. After once or twice, I gave up and sat next to her.

We did not circulate around and talk with people who came to the wedding, as is the custom in America.

In Russia, each person approaches the wedding table and offers a toast. You must drink a toast with each person who comes to the table. By the end of the reception, you are dead drunk on your feet.

No one came to the table and offered a toast. My wife thought that this was rude of my guests. My guests thought we were rude for not going around to greet everyone personally.

Russians wear the wedding rings on the right hand, as opposed to Americans that wear their weddings rings on the left hand.
When my wife travels to her homeland, she switches her wedding ring from her left hand to her right hand; otherwise ‘everyone will think that I am a widow rather than married.’

In Russia, it is the custom that other male guests may ‘capture’ your wife and hold her for ‘ransom.’ The bridegroom must entreat the other guests to help him gather enough money to ransom his bride. The capture and ransom are somewhat tongue in cheek, but are real enough that you won’t get your wife back without paying the ransom.

We tried to have a similar type of event at our wedding, but none of the American guests understood what was going on. After her ‘capture,’ we passed the hat to raise the ransom money, which substituted as a kind of ‘money dance.’

After we passed the hat three times to raise the ransom money, I had to sing for my bride.

My wife’s name is Aksana, and I adapted the Richie Valens’ song, “Oh, Donna” as a song I could sing about my missing girl, Aksana. Okay, it’s a reach, but it worked somewhat. However, the whole thing came off like a skit in ‘Our Gang.’

So much for trying to inject a Russian custom in an American wedding.

Russians usually drink until late in the evening – sometimes until dawn.
The family of the married couple is not supposed to leave until the last guest leaves.

For Russians, a successful wedding is one where everybody must be drunk. Having plenty of food is typical for any Russian function, and a wedding is no exception. If you have enough liquor and food, the reception will be a success.

Drinking was minimal at our wedding. No one needed a liver transplant after the reception, so by Russian standards, it was a failure.

My parents are elderly and wanted to leave before dark so they could drive home.

They can’t see to drive at night anymore. My wife begged them not to leave the reception ‘so early before the other guests left.’

My parents felt they had to leave so they weren’t a danger on the road. My wife felt as though my family ‘abandoned us.’

John has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman home, and how to survive married life.
www.russian-luv.com/emigrating.html

Provided By: Relationships

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by Donald Saunders

Flowers are an integral part of any wedding. From the bride’s bouquet and the decoration at the wedding ceremony to the reception, flowers appear literally everywhere and it would be hard to imagine a wedding without flowers. But how would you feel about having silk wedding flowers?

If you’re anything like me then your first reaction will probably be a definite no! The idea of using artificial flowers at a wedding is simply unthinkable. Well, think again.

I have just returned from a trip to the Far East where I saw some of the most magnificent floral arrangement that I have ever seen – and every single one of them was artificial. I couldn’t believe it when I was told and had to actually touch the flowers to distinguish them from the real thing. Some had even been perfumed so that they actually smelled like the real thing. It was almost unbelievable.

Artificial flowers are nothing new of course and the tradition of making artificial flowers is believed to have started with the Chinese and dates back hundreds of years. Taken up by the Italians in the twelfth century, the art of making flowers from the cocoons of silkworms was developed and was then taken over and perfected by the French. Indeed, history records that in 1775 Marie Antoinette was presented with a silk rosebud and is said to have been so overcome by its perfection that she feinted.

Shortly after this the French Revolution forced many of the French flower makers to flee to England from where the craft was taken to the Americas by English settlers

For many years florists looked down on dried and artificial flowers as being inferior, but this is changing today and many florists now regularly use artificial flowers, and in particular silk flowers, in floral arrangement where they frequently mix both natural and silk flowers together.

Against this background it is easy to see the benefits of silk wedding flowers.

You no longer need to worry about whether or not flowers are in season and bear the expense of flying in out-of-season blooms. Neither do you need to face the mad hectic rush of having an army of people arranging the flowers right up to the minute of the ceremony for fear that they will wilt before the guests arrive.

If you would like to have spring flowers for your wedding in October then that’s fine and if you’d like to fill the church with sunflowers in March that’s equally fine. The possibilities are endless.

And what better keepsake could you have of your special day than some of the flowers from your wedding to help decorate those special events in the future such as your wedding anniversary or the christening of your first child.

The idea of using silk wedding flowers is not quite as crazy as it seems.

For more information on silk wedding flowers please visit Talking weddings today.

Provided By: Relationships

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